***OMG i dont feel like studying anymore..ARGHX...KILL ME!!!***

So sian 4+am in the morning, i tried my so very best to study but i just cant. I am so damn distracted and i have to go out later to take pay, so sch "so call study w my frenx" den after that meet my bby. So tired...Can study at all, i just cant...kill me...i m so damn stress now, the only way out is to study but i cant focus to study at all, I really duno wad to do le..so sian so sian so sian...i miss my bby... can he console me abit bt dix...i guess he cant..he is nt tt sensitive kind of guy and even if he noes he wont know wad to do abt it..so the best he can do is mind his own business which makes me think that he doesnt care..OMG!!!
WTH....i m really going crazy le... dont feel like studying but if i dont wad can i do??? I really duno where shld i go in dix life..i m lost...i hate dix aimless feeling...
i only wanna wrk hrd for a goal but dere seems to be none in my life i can tot of one..
Sometimes really feel that if my life has end lidat..will it be better???
but i cant leave my mom alone, i cant bear to leave my bby...i like the life i am having and i hate it...it is sometimes so contradicting, i really duno wad i wan aso..
why m i always feel lost in everything i do , everythin i face...life too perfect isnt gd, life to tough makes u wanna end it...HUMANS!!! Funny things...very chim n hrd to understand objects..i dont understand y the hell i will think so much think lidat aso...but its jux me..jux wondering y some ppl wont think so much..but some ppl will...hmm...i dont think any1 can get a ans out of it as well..so jux forget it ba..haix...face my exam now mre imprtant!!!
Oki3z End h3re ba... ... Go back to my miserable study...sobx...hope to finish at least half of my notes for BNT at least b4 i slp abit...den later foucs on teleSys...sianx arx...
/**end of naggy blog**/



***2nd blog of the same hr same day***

Feel like writing somemre...really longtime never have a nice chat with him le..I think he feels boring tokin to me ba..i m so sad i really so much wanted to chat with him just like how we used to chat at 1st..why is relationship always nice at the start...why is that so...it really doesnt feels that fantastic...haix..

Today, my guy friend say being my bf is very poor thing cox i li too popular... but once i really agree to a r/s with one person, i wont be attracted to any1 else...i will totally focus in that r/s which makes me think alot think far..making the guys suffer becox of my expectation and scare the guys away.. i hope to change my dix kind of character but i dont really wish to...thats me i dont wanna change.. i just hope he can accept me as who i am...i am willing to change my bad temper but definately not this kind of character i m born with...

END...watch tv le ..TO BE CONTINUED~



***My 1st blog***

I never really like blogs.
But all of a sudden i feel like creating one.
I guess I am really too stress, i just need a place for me to write or talk to. I dun wan any feedback or comments. Jus wan a place to say everything out.

Exams coming, totally no mood to study totally cant focus at all.
Still figuring whether he loves me anot, he say he does so i try my very best to trust him but it seems so hard.
I am the kind of gal that wil constantly feel insecure and constantly need love n secure. He may say i think too much but that is what i am. I didnt wanna think too much as well, it jus make me miserable but i cant help it.
Somehow i just feel he doesnt need me at all, he have his friends, his games etc.. i am jus a extra person tt appears in his life. with or without me wont make much difference.

And i think he will enjoy more going out with other people than with me..i just wan him to enjoy himself and be happy but it seems that i m always the one making him feel unhappy..
I wanna know what he is really thinking about...if he feels he doesnt need me i rather cry rather feel hurt than he feeling unhappy with me...

What shall i do? it may be i thinkin too much but it may be not.... i m lost
i m so trying my best to trust back relationship again but will i fail??
i duno i really duno...haix ='(