***I feel helpless awful***

I am damn stress now..tml is java supp paper but i cant settle down and focus to study..i feel so fed up..i turn to my mom wanting her to accompany me to shopping mall walk walk to make me feel better den come home can try study but instead she scolded...she complain her stress...
ok fine..i m nt talkin to her animore..i m nt talkin to anione animore for now...cox i feel so jialat i dont wanna pick a quarrel or a fight with dem..it jux make me feel more worst..

what should i do...i m crying so bitterly now...i m too too stress dix is a subject i nv wanna repeat but wat can i do? i m too stress to even smile to even talk n control my temper
tears jux keep falling?

i feel lonely helpless..



***GreaT daY...thanX Lots to bby +Muackx+***

Today meet bby go out..we went to shop @ fareast but got nothing..SIANX...
So after tt we went for our lunch at swensens..kekeke..n when i was eatin halfway.i realise a similar to ucler kind of thing in my mouth..damn painful...causing to give up my food & ICE CREAM!!!! omG...SIANX NO ICE CREAM TO EAT...cox will pain pain....

After tt hmm...we went heeren..bby bought me a short at 77th street..hmm...den i went to meet lulu to pass her the birthday gift me n ming gt for her...haha..its NARUTO set..hope she like it =)

Den when me n bby was on our way to cine to get movie tix for the movie.."big mama 2", we saw soon heng..he waitin for yiting go kBox..actually we are joining them but i didnt want to..i wanna watch movie..so we bye bye to dem den head our way to get tix...

After gettin the tix..we gt like 1 hr to waste....so we went back to heeren..bby bought me n himself a pair of slippers eh frm...forget the name..aniway the brand is reef...
den i saw lulu n the fren..she bought the same slipper as me den after payin...we went to cine kpool...supposely is go challenger table..but the stupid lousy guy playing at teh table stating the big word "CALLENGER" tell us he nt playin chllenger table...wtf sia..feel li wackin him..den in the end we open a table..play for li 10 -15 min den rush for our movie..the pool only cause us li $2.50...lol..wth sia...

Ok so the movie we watch it was nice..n so after movie..bby bought me another short at cine..lol..
so guilty man spend bby so much $...
I love bby...its been quite sometime since i can get myself more den 2 things in a day...i m really happi...Thanx..bby so so much...

Mayb he doesnt know..
I really love the way bby laugh the bby smile..i hate to see him w a sad face or grumpy face..i love to see him smile always...its so cute i jux love it..but when he doesnt smile at all...i m sad...wondering wat happen n wats wrong..one reason i allow him to smoke aso dix reason..dunno i did the right thing not..it mayb selfish of me to li encourage to smoke so much but i really hate n will b very sad when i see him not happi....mayb i m selfish ba....

Ok..so long for now...actually v tired but waiting for bby to reach home b4 i can slp soundly..so now blogging n watchin tv..haha...hope tml is a happi n nice day..



***Xing Qing Fu Zha..messy heart messy mind weak body***

Today early in the mornin about 8am, went to help my sister sell food to pri sch kids..they are really li monkeys sia..its like their parents nv feed them, recess time all run out..siao de...
Today very tired..1230 bring my nephew to kindergarden den i went hoem to do my nails and bath...den immed i went out...took a bus to lavender..den a cab to the kallang blah blah balh, aplace where i gonna have my interview...n the cab uncle pissed me off....i m definately gonna write a complain letter...
this is what happen: the address the company gave me i tell the uncle..den uncle say wrong la shld be the other side..den he scold me...wtf...if i ever gone to the place at all will i take tt stupid cab...stupid idiot so rude no brain..i record his name n taxi number down liao..n confirm gonna write in a complain letter...bth..super pissed off....i pay $ give him scold..fuck la....

The interview turns out nice...i m nt nervous or wat..i ans very easily no panic or wad..my 1st best interview..guess my credit card promoter job did help me alot in speaking more confidently ba..i guess? lol
Interview starts 230pm ends at 330pm...boring..i went to bugis to shop for shorts, drink a cup of coke..hmmm den went to find bus....4+ pm found my bus to orchard...lol...went to plaza sing to buy movie tickets..wait for bby..

den 645 see the movie pink panther...wat a stupid show...
its darn farni but it damn stoopid..seriously idiotic...."i have 4 m m m"---if u watch the show u noe wat i mean..whahaha...darn farni..bth..laugh till i almost die...

today body very weak..breathin super difficulty like anitime wil suffocate...sianx...i m worried but i m jux too reluctant to go see a doctor...to me the doctors cant help...i dont trust dey r tt good..i believe i will jux recover on my own...

reach home bt 12mn...reach home bath den sat on the sofa n daze...seeing the calender...bby gonna go ns is jux a 1 wk plus time..omg..i cant believe tt is coming...i feel li crying...i m sure i gonna miss him darn alot...bby bby...

so sad so sad...

if happens tt i got the job..it will be on the 9 to 12 march but bby is goin to tekong on the 11th...
i m very confused very contradicting now....shld i wrk or not wrk?
i need the money...but i feel bby is more important den tt..after bby go ns..i still can find job and wrk anitime..feel i shld instead spend the whole day n night w him rather tt wrkin...
but den my mom noe i went for interview today...if i say i give up tt job..she will scold li mad sia...haix

sigh..but i really wish to spend as much time as possible with bby..every day every hour every minutes every seconds with bby...

I AM GONNA MISS BBY SO MUCH!!!! {feel li crying}